A reference is most helpful when the person can speak from direct experience. Ask before listing someone and give them enough context to decide whether they can provide a useful recommendation.
Make the request easy to answer
- Ask privately and explain the type of role and the expected timing.
- Share the resume or project summary you are using, plus a few examples of work you collaborated on.
- Give them a clear, pressure-free option to decline.
Respect their time and privacy
Confirm what contact details they want you to share and whether they prefer a particular channel. Do not list someone as a reference without consent or send their personal details to a broad mailing list.
Thank them whether or not they agree, and let them know if an employer may contact them. Keep the request brief and accurate; do not script praise for them to repeat.